But just before you go stalking me, I’d like to remind you that the internet can be deceiving. I might not be what or who you think I am. For one, you’d think that I like partying and all while in the real sense, I don’t even like alcohol. Could you believe that in the office I’m known as the quietest girl?!?!?! I told you, ….deceiving… Stalk me at your own risk.
Let’s go back to my friend…. When she told me about her predicament (the boyfriend dumping her for something she dint even do), we laughed about it as usual and I never thought much about it. I realized how serious the situation was when she came the following day with the most grotesque of stories.
And this is what she said to me, “I dint call him many times yesterday; I just called seven times. When he dint pick up any of the calls, I texted him saying that I’m never disturbing him again and then called nine…no, ten times. I finally concluded with the ‘f’ word ‘u’ message.”
Were it not for the fact that I know her too well, I’d have thought that she was kidding as this was said like it’s the funniest of things. That’s when it suddenly dawned on me that I had been enjoying her stories, which are very interesting by the way, instead of helping out a friend.
It’s not like I can offer much help for I’m a hopeless case myself but I should at least try. I know the rules; I just choose not to follow some of them. I will share them with you.
And now I dedicate the following Do’s and Don’ts of a break-up to her and others in her situation.
• Do not call or text him.
This is the hardest thing to do yet the most important. I never follow it all the same. My excuse is that it is easier said than done. so I’ll call and he doesn’t pick up, I keep on calling until he starts hanging up on me, and I go on till he switches his phone off completely, and then I start….. Well, let me stop there for I know I’m starting to sound like a psycho.
My point is, if he’s broken up with you the last thing he wants is hear from you. The moment you insist on calling, he gets really pissed off and hangs up on you. As much as we know that you can survive without him, the message that you’re sending to him is that you can’t. This works against you as I’m going to explain in the next point.
• Maintain your confidence.
It’s very hard to do this if you’ve been breaking the first rule. The more you call, the more desperate you sound and the more you pamper his ego. Therefore, go back to point number one.
• It’s ok to cry.
This really works. It’s been letting me down lately however, and I can’t explain why. I was an expert some time back but now, as much as I try, I simply can’t cry. The last time I did it was because someone I cared for told me something scary and I just dint know what to do. So if you’re not a big girl like me, feel free to wet your pillow.
• Look good.
This is the high time you pimped your wardrobe; not necessarily for him to see, but you’ll be brighter and this will boost your self confidence.
• Keep yourself busy.
When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I enrolled for Tae-Kwon Do. It helped a lot. Now we are very good friends; not exactly what he’d like but he had his chance and blew it. When you have something else to do, you are able to keep him from your mind.
• Be nice.
I have absolutely no problem with this rule. It’s what I do. And I’m very good at it. You will feel good about yourself.
• Start seeing other guys.
I have never been comfortable with this rule. I call it the quick fix. The easiest way to get over a man is to get obsessed with another one. The reason I don’t recommend this is coz you’ll take your frustrations to the next guy who presents himself. This will obviously not work out and you move to the next and so on. It becomes a frustration cycle. My advice is, take your time.
• Give yourself time.
Don’t be harsh on yourself. A break up is really painful. Whether you follow the above rules or not, time will eventually do the healing. It only does so faster if you follow the rules. In no time, you’ll be wondering why you were feeling the way you are.
The good thing is, if he really loved you, then he’ll eventually come back to you. My only hope is that he does so sooner than later; before he’s too late.
As they say, if you love something (in this case someone) so much, let it go, if it comes back, its yours for keeps, if it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be.
Have a beautiful day.,