There are two things that I avoid talking about in this blog; what a genius my daughter is and how am married to the most amazing man. The reason I do not talk about my daughter and her gifted mind is because I feel that every parent feels that way about their kid. I once traveled in a matatu where a kid refused to give an adult the seat and the mom embarrassingly told the conductor that she would pay for it. Feeling guilty for being the reason a grown man was left in the rain, the woman explained that the problem was her kid’s smartness, ‘He never agrees to be held in a matatu, he’s very smart.’
I did not get it at the time, and though I still judge the mom a little, I can now see where she was coming from. Just this once, allow me to, and believe it when I tell you that my kid is the smartest kid I’ve ever met. She’s also a great artist. I’ll be sharing her drawings in a future post.
The reason I do not speak of my husband’s awesomeness is because when I’ve done so in public, I’m been met with curious stares or I’ve felt judged. We have a very liberal/modern relationship; everyone does everything and that’s something most people can’t wrap their heads around. When we got our kid, a close friend from college came to visit. An hour into the visit, I change my baby’s diaper and innocently hand the dirty diaper to boyfriend to go get rid of it. She almost fainted!
When he was gone, she asked, ‘Why did you do that?’ ‘What?’ I asked, confused, ‘Oh, the diaper? I wanted him to put it where we put them.’ The look she gave me said it all.
She could not get how he was ok with that. But how could he not be okey while he’s doing it for his baby? Or even his wife? Who else would have washed my cloths when I was heavily pregnant? ‘Get a cleaning lady to do it,’ one woman once told me. Really? I don’t know… It’s an all too touchy subject altogether but I just refuse to apologize for being treated right. The way I should.
For months we stayed with a daytime nanny. We’d both come home tired and while I bathed our little girl, he would cook our dinner. In the morning he’d make breakfast and iron the cloths while I breastfed and expressed. It worked for our family and we were both happy.
I’ve spoken to different women and men and their views or experiences of what goes on in other relationships make me realize just how lucky I am. We get each other. Though complete on our own, we complement each other and am grateful for that. I am grateful for all the small things and for the big things; grateful that I met him; and more grateful for our baby. I can’t help but imagine how different my life would have been had I not met him that day.
So when he asked to be a guest blogger today, I could not wait to read what he had to say.
Disclaimer though: Remember that you’re seeing me through the eyes of someone who loves me. He might therefore exaggerate on how smart, stylish and collected I normally am. Refer to the post about my cooking. 😉
Dear Kendall, if you are reading this, then you are probably 16, and internet access is freely allowed in high school. You probably own a 9.7 inch tablet, and a back-up smart phone, and your teachers are cool with it. Your class teacher would probably occasionally announce, ‘Kindly put your gadgets away until the end of the lesson’. And during P.E or games-time, everyone’s heads would be bent towards their gadgets, either playing latest updates of Plants vs Zombies, Temple Run or Candy crush saga. For you, I am sure you would be playing Chess game online probably with an overseas 28year old opponent, whom you have beaten 10 times already. You have always been smart. 2029 is not like 2002, when we used to play real actual games which always ended up in a fight, and we got injured…which by the way was part of the game.
I know most of your traits have not changed that much. At this stage, I am sure your inquisitive character is at its peak, that’s how smart kids are. You want answers to almost everything; we are not surprised since you started this when you were barely 2 years old. Your questions would go like ‘Is this? (What is this?)’ non-stop, for hours, pointing at every single object your eyes could see. And mom would faithfully answer them, all of the 1000 times you repeatedly pointed at the couch, or TV, or table, or carpet, or cups. This is why I decided that before you asked me how I met your mom, I will go right ahead and answer. Not because we are no longer patient enough to answer your one million questions, but because we’re probably attending to your siblings’ curiosities now. You are a big girl now Kendall.
How I met your Mom; Modern mom? Yes Kendall, Modern mom. Your mom is a modern mom. I know you probably aren’t on the same page with me on this Modern mom thingy. See Kendall, maybe a 2015 Modern mom would not exactly resemble a 2030 modern mom. This is because times change, Kendall. The 2030 modern moms were teenagers in 2015. Nonetheless, yes, your mom is a modern mom. Your mom is not a typical mom. She is not the same as your classmates’ mothers who got tired and gave up on make ups and fashion the moment they had their first kids. Truth is, she is probably breastfeeding your second sibling but she would easily pass for your elder sister. Your mom, apart from looking young and fit, is also a super woman.
Super woman now? Yes Kendall, your mom is a super woman. Your mom can juggle from work, to her business, to taking care of you, and your siblings, to spending time with her Chama friends, to catching her favourite TV shows, to trying out new recipes…and nailing them, to ensuring daddy isn’t complaining that she is too busy for him, to catching up with your grandma, to ensuring the crops are either weeded or irrigated in the farm…the list is endless. See, Kendall, any ordinary human would need 34 hours in a day, without sleep, to accomplish all these. Your mom easily accomplishes all these, and still gets time to sleep…somehow. What mostly amazes me is that I would be with your mom, seated watching a cool movie, the whole day, but she would eventually proudly announce to me that she managed to accomplish all her 1 million tasks for the day. What? How? What? We were together the whole day!! When I ask her how she managed, she just smiles, like she was a movie star, probably Angelina Jolie in Salt…a super woman, and boldly says, ‘I got it’. And she still has her make-up on, hair always kempt, smartly dressed, always looking super…you wouldn’t believe me that she wakes up looking exactly this way. I don’t believe myself either, but it’s true, it’s a mystery. I guess we will never know how she does her things, but the fact is, Kendall, we are privileged to be living with a legend of our time, your mom.
Now that we have agreed that your mom is modern, and super, back to my main story; how I met your mom. I am not a Superman!! Or am I? Lol, am just being modest, of course I am a superman. No one could win a lady such as your mom, unless they were super. Your mom would have to concur with this.
It was an ordinary day, and I was with my crew, my boys, typical 3rd year students in Kenyatta University, walking in groups, trying to catch attention of everyone we passed…well, every girl. We were headed to the Computer Centre. Now, Kendall, unlike nowadays, in 2007, personal laptops were hard to come by, leave alone free WIFI. We would go to the Computer Centre, where we would have access to the internet. It was an addictive place. Each computer room there had dozens of computers connected to the internet. It was meant to be a resource centre and students were assigned at least 30 minutes to browse for eBooks, journals and any other useful materials for their school work…or so they (university administration) thought. This was when Facebook had taken the world. This was the most exciting thing since the new millennium. Everyone would go to the Centre to get a daily dose; update statuses, view comments, reply to private messages (Inbox 20), send and accept friend requests and delete status updates that did not get any comments. So I was still waiting for my turn, to occupy a vacant computer, I couldn’t wait…to meet the world…to get into Facebook. And just as my turn was almost, there she was…
She stood tall in her slim model shapely figure which was perfectly fitted with a girly-girly grey dress that clearly showed her wasp-waist. I couldn’t stop staring, I couldn’t blink. Her unique desert brown complexion, long chin and slender eyebrows made her easily pass for an ancient Ethiopian woman. I like this girl, I thought. She should be a first year no doubt. Looked very innocent, but her witty laughing eyes showed that there was more behind the naive beautiful face. I didn’t care, about the story written all over behind her eyes, or that many other guys were eyeing her, or that she could be way above my league. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t stop. This was love at first sight.
‘Excuse me,’ my squeaky voice managed to force out of my throat. She looked up. My whole face turned hot. Words froze on my lips. I was smitten. I was scared. I was nervous. My boys were watching at a distance. I wasn’t going to let them down. Not now, in front of all these audience. ‘Could you lend me your flash-disk?’ I continued changing my gaze from her face to her hands where she held a white pen-drive. What? A flash disk? For what? I didn’t need a flash disk. I had mine in my pocket. I felt so stupid. This was the worst pick-up-line ever! She smiled knowingly, and handed it to me. The rest is history.
Up to date, she cannot explain why she trusted a total stranger with her private gadget…with this, I mean her flash disk. I can’t explain either. The way we clicked, how we told stories after another, how she seemed to understand me best, and I would feel comfortable whenever she was around me; the whole chemistry showed that we were meant for each other. I was to later learn that she was actually a Software Engineering finalist at the university, and had I missed her on that particular day, I probably wouldn’t have met your mom ever! You, Kendall and your siblings wouldn’t ever have existed at all. It is amazing how love makes times convenient for us to meet with our soul mates. It is simply beautiful.
So, next time you want to ask how daddy met mom, there you go Kendall; this is how I met your beautiful mom. This is our love story, and you are part of it.
By Modern Dad.,
Until we see each other again,